Smile!

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim,



Menyedari riak-riak tua pada wajahku,
Sepasang mata yang seakan hilang kilauan,
Pipi mulus yang pudar serinya,

Pesona yang seharusnya ada pada seorang gadis muda,
Tak ingin kubiarkan ia terus sirna sekelip mata.

Perkara pertama,
Aku harus belajar untuk senyum kembali~

Kerapkali aku melihat diri aku.....
setahun yang lalu,
dua tahun yang lalu,
tiga tahun yang lalu,
betapa aku pernah melalui hidup-hidup yang penuh ceria,
riang gembira,
Tipulah andai ku katakan aku lupa cara untuk tersenyum,
I was being too exaggerate~ ( I know)
And as I was looking myself through the mirror,
I saw the same small lady,
But this time, she is stronger, tougher...
And I never thought that.

After the huge difficulties,
I lose my smile for awhile,
Awhile? Entahla, lama bagiku.
Kerana untuk senyum kembali dengan kadar keikhlasan seperti dulu,
Aku perlu belajar kembali,

(simple but barakah celebration of my SPM result)


Benarlah kata mereka,
perkara yang paling sukar adalah untuk tesenyum di saat kita ditimpa dugaan.


From now on, I'll become the syifa' by reciting the syifa' from Allah, source of strength from Him. "Penawar" kecewa for myself.
Insyallah.

Yasirni. Ya Allah.

My Stride

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Yesterday, my lecturer in my tutorial class assigned all of the class to present a song that really gave impact to ourself. It was an English Language I ( speaking and listening) class. I chose a Malay Song entitled "Langkah Tercipta" by UNIC. But the explanation must be in english.

I never thought to be in that level of confident. Well, speaking in front of the class, was the most thing I afraid of.  I have no intention to impress anyone by my speech.

Then , Syalmira - my classmate said,
" It was a very sad story, I almost cry".

I was thinking, I always get this kind of response -
" Syifa', your complexion doesn't reflect your age"
" Syifa', you doesn't look like 19"
" Your face was so matured"
" You look like 21"

Khair, I accept with smiling. Sometimes, I just assume that was a compliment. That assumption made me feel better.

I persuade myself, " It's okay, she/he never know what I has been through"

In the class last night, I was advising my classmate - "how hard it is, how tough it is,  put trust in Allah in everything you do."

I gave advice doesn't mean I was the strongest. But that's the way to make myself a strong lady. The truth, I was advising myself,

"TO BE STRONG"

I didn't manage to change courses. I didn't manage to get what I really hope for. I didn't manage to study my favourite subject.

And there's a lot of thing didn't happen according to what I had planned.

BUT
It happened according to Allah's plans. I must believe that.

PLEASE SYIFA', don't stop striding!
You're in Applied Physics class is already a destiny from Allah.

Madam Hafida, Hawa n all of my new classmates,
Syukran. Without all of you, I'm not this strong just like you all see me today.

Applied Physics

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Lama aku berfikir. In a very deep deep thinking.

Physics.
Bukan begini sebenarnya. Tapi, Physics?
Ya, persoalan.

Once I remembered my best friend told me that,
Allah always has 3 replies to our du'a,
yes, yes but not now and I have better plan for you.
That's never a NO.

About physics, so far I do not have any phobia towards it. Cuma aku tak berapa pasti dengan pilihan yang aku dapat. Patut aku memohon untuk tukar ataupun stay dengan physics.

My housemate pun pernah cakap begini,
Syifa', It's like u want to lift a huge sack,
Just because people all around you told you that the sack was extemely heavy, you choose not to lift it.
you never know your exact potential, until you lift that sack.
and the truth - the sack wasn't so heavy FOR YOU.
It all depends on you.

dan I reply to her,
" you never know how hard the physics is...."

Betapa negatifnya saya berfikir.Saya tahu dia cuma ingin membantu. Tapi sejujurnya rakan-rakan baik saya, mereka tahu bagaimana physics tu dan bagaimana saya sendiri react pada phyics.

I love critical thinking. Sudoku, chess dan selalu jugak main physics game online .
Macam chess, saya perlukan masa yang agak lama untuk berfikir.
Sudoku juga. I'll end up with completing all the numbers, tapi sangatlah lama.

Jadi, saya bimbang andai itu yang bakal saya hadapi ketika menyelesaikan physics.
Saya memerlukan lebih banyak masa untuk memahami soalan berbanding orang lain, berfikir dan menyelesaikannya. 

Saya cuma ada bebarapa hari untuk urusan pertukaran kos, sekiranya jadi.
Dan saya sendiri tak begitu yakin dengan pilihan baru saya SAINS SENI BINA.
Dengan hampir 20-22 jam kredit setiap semeter. Basic pun tiada.

Yassirni wala tu'assir. Insyallah.