"Betapa indahnya, bila dorongan menuntut ilmu adalah ilmu itu sendiri, yakni bukan kerana apa yang akan dihasilkan oleh ilmu itu. Bila mana kecintaan akan ilmu sudah tertanam di dalam hati, dan jiwa telah terfana, maka tanpa disedari, ia akan mendapatkan apa yang ia inginkan" - Dr Aidh Al-Qarni
It was not an easy thing for me get through. Thus I choose to write down here. Self-motivating. Study for an hour, then slept (thought rest for an hour would help to energized my brain), study another 1 hour then slept. But this time not just an hour. After 1 hour. After 2 hour. After 3 hour. After three hour, I started to criticize and blaming myself for not being a good fighter of my own self. Not hardworking. Not enough motivation. Too relaxed.
It was a fighting to do something that you believe that you love to do. If I have passion in that thing in the first place, why should I need to fight?
Shed tears.
Why did it become so slow? Research progress, paper writing, experimental lab, decision making. Since when I have become so slow? Is that slow in thinking? Or too much thinking that slow my moves? How would I improve myself to become more productive like all those days during working in industry? I used to complete 10 things in a day. I felt that I don’t have a barakah time over everything that I did.
Yet, I asked Allah in every single night before going to sleep. Ya Allah. Bless me with barakah time. There are too much thing incomplete. Nothing complete for today.
Ease my way Ya Allah.
6/1/2019
2.45pm
Bangi
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